Last week I took my 5 boys, my 2 nephews and my cousin’s little boy all to McDonald’s for lunch by myself. While we were walking into the restaurant I noticed a man walking out was counting heads. I thought it was kind of funny because I knew what he was thinking…he was thinking I was crazy (and maybe I am just a little crazy). As he’s walking by he comments about me having my hands full, which I did, but I don’t mind.
When we get into the restaurant I can see people staring and counting heads and talking. I don’t mind though, I love taking the boys out and I would probably be looking in their direction if I saw someone walk in by themselves with 8 boys too. But you know, it got me thinking…why do so many people feel like they can not take their children out in public?
I appreciate the little old lady that walks to my table to tell me that I’m doing a good job parenting or the waiter that thanks me for controlling my children, but I have to wonder…are that many parents really just allowing their children to misbehave in public? Maybe they are, but why?
So, when asked (because I’m often asked), how do you get those children to behave for you in public? This is my response, I follow through. The most important advice I feel I could ever give a new parent is to be sure from day one you are following through. If your child knows that you mean what you say then you will not have to say it over and over again.
If you tell your child that you will leave the restaurant if they are misbehaving…then leave the restaurant. If you tell your children that they will not get a treat if they misbehave, then do not give them the treat (even if they beg). Sometimes giving in is easier, but trust me, it is not what is best for your child.
So, that’s my advice and the answer to the question so many have asked me.
I do want to mention that I set rules before we go anywhere. I warn the children of the consequences of breaking the rules and I follow through with the consequences if they do not behave when we are out. Setting rules is very important so that the children know exactly what you expect of them. If you don’t tell them, they might not know.
More to Come on Raising My 5 Sons…
I completely agree with you. But feel I should also say that understanding that they are after all kids is important too. And meltdowns are going to happen. Yet, practice makes better not perfect. Parents who are worried about what people may say or think if their child acts out should just remember their child is the one that matters and not the stranger.After all they are not adults.
I take my four kids out by myself all the time. All ages seven and under. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. But I just keep trying. And with time they get it more and more.
It’s good advice. We feel the same way. As folks who have worked in customer service, my husband and I decided long ago if our kids couldn’t behave, they would be escorted out immediately. Some days it is hard but the follow-through means everything!
Glad to see you had a good time with all the boys. Even with follow-through, I think you are a brave, brave woman!
🙂
Traci