Adoption—Getting Prepared for the Reward

Bringing An Adopted Child Into Your Home

Making the decision to adopt a child is not a choice that you make in the spur of a moment. It is definitely something that needs to be thought out long and hard. If you already have children of your own, there needs to be discussion amongst the whole family. Bringing up a child takes a lot of sacrifice, and there are often more things to deal with when you have an adopted child. To start with, if you have an open adoption, you will need to make efforts to keep the birth mother involved in the child’s life. You will also have the challenge of making your child comfortable with the idea that they have been adopted as they start to grow up. Finding the right time to tell the child (if you choose to go this route) can be stressful as well.

Making sure that everyone in the household is comfortable and happy is key. You don’t want your children to feel jealous and left out, however you want to make sure the adopted children feel welcome and wanted in the home. It can be a challenge to find the balance, however if everyone works together as one, and everyone understands that they must give a little and open their hearts and home, it will only draw you all nearer in the end.

Adopting an older child can often bring greater challenges. These children have often bounced back and forth and they really need to be shown some extra love. Taking the time to get to know the child and their likes and dislikes right from the beginning can be very helpful. There may be some conflicts as your adopted child settles into their new home –which is bound to seem strange to them, even though adoption agencies always try to find the best match for each child.

One of the most important things you can do before your adopted children come home for the first time is to get your own children prepared. You need to get them excited about the new arrival (sort of like you would if you were expecting a baby from the womb), and explain to them how this is a wonderful thing the family is doing for this child. Don’t make them feel as if the child is someone who is being imposed on them– instead, make adoption an exciting event for the whole family. Let your children help to prepare the room and maybe a special welcome home party for the new family member. Adding to a family is a joyous event no matter how the child comes into the world, and it definitely calls for a celebration! Including your children and allowing them to be a part of this joyous event will help them to feel like they are part of the adoption, rather than jealous or resentful.

If you have chosen to adopt an older child you will need to be prepared for some behavioral problems in the beginning. You must keep in mind that your child may be coming from an institutional background where their physical needs were taken care of–but where they didn’t receive all of the love and attention they really needed. In turn, your new child may have occasional spells of bad behavior, particularly if they come from somewhere that they may have experienced domestic violence. Even if they are from a relatively stable background, they are still going to be anxious when they come into a new home, which can lead to things such as crying and temper tantrums. Not only do you need to be prepared for this yourself, but you need to get your children prepared as well—explain to them that your new child may be scared and they may behave badly because of this–and that they need your child’s help so that they may get better.

Adoption may seem like a lot of work, however the rewards are definitely worth it.

 

*This is a sponsored post. We have never adopted a child, however we have friends that have adopted and we look up to them for this. Making the decision to adopt a child is not something to take lightly, however it is very rewarding and we are proud of our friends for the decision they made.