Why I’m NOT Doing it All…

Are you doing it all?

I was on my third cup of coffee. I was starting to feel the zing, you know…that jittery feeling you get when you have had more caffeine than your body could handle? It was my own fault, I mean, the only thing I had put into my body at this point was coffee. I didn’t even realize I hadn’t eaten anything. All I knew was that my coffee pot was not making the coffee fast enough (and that’s saying a lot considering I have a super fast coffee maker —a couple of them). To say I have a coffee problem is a little extreme, okay, so maybe just a little, but I needed it to get through these days—my life.

I’d always smile when someone told me that I was a super woman/mom or that I could just do it all. I mean, honestly I was struggling to really see how I was doing anything. I felt like I was failing at so many things and I really didn’t understand how anyone could think I was “doing it all”. Yeah, I have a little pact of children, but I know people that have more, and they seem to be doing way more than I am. I remind myself that I chose this life and that this is where I’m supposed to be and what I’m supposed to be doing.

While others were dreaming of becoming doctors and lawyers—doing big and important things, I was dreaming of becoming a mom. One day I wanted to marry my Prince Charming and ride off into the sunset. I wanted to have babies and be home with them. I had plans to nurse my children, wrap them in adorable cloth diapers and strap them to my body. I was going to be the Mom that did everything right.

So, what happened?

I guess life happened. I realized that no one is perfect. I might need a little more coffee than I planned to get through my day. I might forget to feed myself, but my children never go hungry—that’s a plus, right? I did nurse my children, wrap them in adorable cloth diapers (some of them anyway), strap them to my body in cute little slings and baby carriers, and I loved them, but do you know what my children are going to remember most from all of this?

They are going to remember me loving them. They won’t care that I wrapped their little bums in cloth (or the fact that I had to hand wash those bad boys while trying not to throw up—the struggle is real!) They will remember that I was there for them and that I loved them.

And that’s when I started asking myself questions like, why do I try so hard to do things that don’t really matter? Why do I focus on “problems” (because in my eyes they are problems) that aren’t really there?

Life can be tough. Don’t let anyone ever tell you that the life of a stay at home mom is easy. Your job starts when you wake and ends when you go to sleep. Actually, it never really ends. I mean, if someone wakes up with a bad dream, throwing up, or just wanting to cuddle, you jump out of bed and go to their side. Being a parent is hard work. There are no time clocks and training manuals, but the rewards are definitely worth it.

I’ve been through depression and I’ve been through times where I felt like I was not good enough, like I was failing at so much, but I’ve learned that the only thing that really matters is that my children are taken care of and happy and that I’m happy. Yes, YOU need to be happy as well. I think one of the biggest mistakes we make as parents (especially when you are home with your children all day) is that you lose yourself. It is important that we not pile so much onto our calendars that we can’t take a little time to breathe. Sit back, kick your feet up and enjoy these moments because one day our children will be grown and we will be wishing we had these days back.

I’m not an expert. I’m not perfect. I’m just a Mom living a busy life, who’s decided to give up on the idea that I can be doing it all. If I’m feeling overwhelmed, I’m going to reassess the tasks at hand and only do what is necessary and needed.

I’m going to live life, enjoy life, and love life.

I hope you will too.

More to Come on Raising My 5 Sons…